The Narrow Bridge of Respectability

All my life I kept walking on
The narrow bridge of respectability built by others.
For the sake of Father’s ‘Pag’, Brother’s ‘topi’,
Every breath I took was as they wished.
When my reins were handed over to my husband,
Then like a clockwork toy
I laughed and cried as he pleased.
Just as I was afraid of ghosts as a child,
Today I tremble at the word “divorce”.
Father gave “The Heavenly Jewel” in my dowry,
Every word in that book
Hangs heavy on me like a guilty conscience,
Beats my chest like the Second Wife.
Throttling my mind, dipped in my blood
      that is how beliefs have been written
Laws have been framed
Assuming my status as a sub-human,
And society built
From the skulls of
What were once my ambitions.